Evan

I first met Jennifer when she came to visit her dad who was my neighbor. She had just had her first son Owen, and I was pregnant with my 3rd son, who we had wanted to name Owen. Ironically our other neighbor had a son before I was due and named him Owen too- So we took Owen off the list of our names! Jenn and me became facebook friends and so we kind of stayed in touch the way you do with facebook.

She reached out last year when she found out they were pregnant with her 3rd son Paul! She was super excited to be planning a birth that was intentional and natural as possible.

Jennifer went in for a 3d ultrasound and got the crushing news that they could not find a heart beat for Paul… I have never lost a child, but I have seen the crushing effects it has on parent, siblings and whole families.

1 in 4 women have a miscarriage so we all know someone who has had one or more. I sit here typing this, I just don’t even feel like I have the right words, or good words to write about it. I have a few really good friends who have had miscarriages this year, and you think I would be a good person to know what to say- but there isn’t anything to be said to make it better. You just have to be in that grief, and so I am getting better at being there in that grief with women.

It is just heavy and crushing, but I know Jennifer and her family have this amazing faith in God, and that carried them through and still carries them along this journey that he has for them.

I went to the memorial they had for Paul, it was so beautiful that they were still able to celebrate him and the gift that he was!!

A while later Jennifer reached out again; another boy was growing! I knew there was so many feelings going into this pregnancy. The things you never worried about before are all of a sudden there and very real. So we stayed in touch until about a few months before she was due and then she decided to hire me for photos and doula work!

She made the brave switch to change care providers later in her pregnancy to the University of Michigan Midwife team. She had the goal of a natural birth and knew a water birth would be an option there, and a wonderful option if she wanted a natural birth.

July 1&2 they went back and forth with the Midwife team about a possible induction for some medical reasons. On Saturday the 2nd they decided to go in and get the process started of meeting baby Evan. We stayed in touch through the process via text and calling and around 5 am Jennifer called to say their wonderful nurse who was also training to become a midwife said maybe a good time for me to head in. So, I drove the hour drive there and only maybe passed one car early Sunday morning!

I got there and it looked like things had slowed down. Jennifer mentioned getting up and walking but i said they were shift changing so she and husband should just sleep! So they slept for about an hour, and then Jennifer said things were getting back up really strong, and so i said the tubs a good idea and got it all ready for her. Around 7:45am ish she got in the tub. I put on worship music, her husband gentle played with her hair and comforted her while she laid in the tub, slowly breathing with each contraction. They were about 5-8 minutes apart. They seemed to be about a minute and strong, but she was breathing and super calm with each one…. Around 8:15 i mentioned calling in the nurse and midwife because it seems like she had past transition, and her body was pushing. A nurse and a midwife(Shout out to Anne Rosa, who did my prenatal care too!!) Came in and calmly assessed the situation. Jennifer began to bear down with a few contractions and it quickly became apparent that this baby was coming in a few minutes!

Anne the Midwife sat at the edge of the tub and mouthed to me “this is awesome I’ve never caught a baby this way before!” The way Jennifer was id never seen a baby delivered that way either, she was laying basically face down in the water just floating! I love when providers are excited to try and learn new things and don’t make moms do what they need, since well moms are busy pushing babies out!! A few pushes later and Evan was out and screaming- again love to hear that as its a very good sign that baby is doing great.

His cord was super short so they navigated him between her legs and he sat in her lap as they took him in. A little while later she got up delivered the placenta and got all tucked into bed with Evan to focus on breastfeeding, and ordering herself breakfast- also taking a nap!!

The joy of watching them welcome him was amazing, the birth of a baby after a loss is a whole lot of mixed emotions and there is no way around it- you must go through it, and I am so glad I got to walk with them in this part of their journey!